Forgiveness
by M. D. Jensen
Summary: Christop must tell Kitty that he's left Ivy and Finton alone in the woods. Safe bet that he's sleeping on the couch tonight! Featuring a Christop who really loves Kitty, and a Kitty who really couldn't care less. Please read and review. PG for language.


Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of the Village, the Woods, or Those-We-Do-Not-Speak-Of. I also do not own Kitty, Ivy, Finton or Christop, although I did expand on the characteristics of the last two. (I'm a major fan of poet!Finton, and also a supporter of the Christop-cares-for-more-than-his-shirts movement. _Yes_, I _love_ the idea that he truly loves Kitty.) The beginning song quote if from Tori Amos's 'Strange'.

Summary: Christop must admit to Kitty that he has left Ivy and Finton to journey through the woods alone. Needless to say, Chris's sleepin' on the couch tonight!

Pairing(s): Kitty/Lucius (one-sided), Kitty/Christop

AN: I am quite hesitant to post this. Almost everyone who read Plum Blossom loved it, but since then my Village fics are, like, going downhill. :( Please review.

Also: I don't know how Kitty and Christop have their own house. Don't ask. And would the people of the Village use 'miles' as a measurement? Or kilometers? Oo

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Forgiveness

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After all what were you really looking for?

And I wonder when will I learn Blue isn't red-

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Everybody knows this.

And I wonder when will I learn,

When will I learn-_ guess I was in Deeper than I thought I was…_

If I have enough love for the both of us-_ Tori Amos, 'Strange'_

Instead of returning immediately, Christop Crane circled the outer edge of the village, walking as close to the woods as he could ever remember getting for any length of time. The yellow fold of his clock brushed his ankles with every step he took, and the hood hid the look of shame on his face.

He had left her. Left his sister-in-law─ his _blind_ sister-in-law─ in the woods, with only _Finton Coin_ for protection. Christop shut his eyes tightly. He had as good as left her to die… left Finton and Lucius to die along with her.

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Kitty will be furious.

Kitty has a right to be furious

Should I go after them?

No. The thought of entering the woods still caused spots of darkness to fill his vision. From the second they were born, every child in the village was warned never, ever to cross the boundaries to the forest beyond. Entering the woods went against twenty-four years of ingrained common sense. It would be the equivalent of jumping into a den of coyotes blindfolded.

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Blindfolded.

Besides, Ivy and Finton would be miles in by now. He would never find them; he could wander for days and not catch sight of them. He would be _alone_ in the _woods_.

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Kitty will never forgive me.

Christop straightened his shirt, a nervous habit of his. Some bit their lips. Some twirled their hair. He fixed his shirt.

Christop kept walking.

Night was approaching, and the woods were unusually quiet. Even the crickets, it seemed, had gone quiet in spite, harshly leaving him in total silence so he thought even further on his cowardice.

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I wonder if she'll still love me.

A stupid, sickening thought came into his head as the sun finally surrendered to the horizon─ stupid because it was the last thing he wanted to think of just then.

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Kitty never truly_ loved me in the first place, did she?_

No.

The voices conversing in the back of his head twisted his stomach until he thought he might be ill. Kitty had been in love with Lucius for years, and she still was, no matter how much she had said to Ivy on the contrary. And he─ Christop─ had sensed his ultimate chance at getting the woman he loved… just after she had been denied by the man she yearned for.

He had tried to justify it in his head, as the Village children placed traditional wreathes of flowers in their hair, and again as they swore their love for one another. He tried to justify proposing marriage to her after she had just been turned down by Lucius, convincing himself that a new love was what she truly needed right then, that Lucius would be forgotten as quickly as the winter at the first sign of spring thaw. He tried to justify it by reminding himself that he loved Kitty and much as she loved Lucius, and even if she couldn't have true love, didn't he deserve a try at it? In truth, though, he knew how despicable his timing had been─ how much of a coward it made him.

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I really am a coward, aren't I? Christop thought sadly, coming to the issue at hand once more: the sun was gone, the stars were appearing, and he could put off telling her no longer.

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This is how much of a coward I am; I will not even stay out after dark.

For a crazy, brief moment, he considered running back into the Woods just to prove he was unafraid. To prove to himself he could be courageous. Of course, though, he turned away from the woods and broke into a sudden sprint, feeling his yellow cloak fly out behind him as he ran to he and Kitty's house.

Christop slowed to a walk as the house came into view. His heart was racing, and as soon as he stopped running and remembered where he had been going in the first place, the feeling of dread returned, weighing him down, making him want to simply… he didn't know what. Give up, perhaps─ although hadn't he done that already? He dreaded telling Kitty. But moreso than that, the realization was beginning to hit him: the fact that as horrible as he felt explaining himself, Ivy, Finton and Lucius were worse off. He had left them as good as dead. Poor Ivy, blind, with no one to protect her but Finton, a weak, fragile poet. They would be killed by the first creature they came across. And Lucius… without medicine from the towns, he had less than two days before his infection turned deadly, according to the whispers spreading through the Village.

Christop coughed and felt a bitter, burning taste rise at the back of his mouth. He choked the bile down and swallowed spasmodically, composing himself as best as he could, which wasn't very well. Feeling as if he were approaching the Forbidden Line all over again, he walked ahead, onto their porch, and into the house.

Kitty was sitting on the floor, a place she'd have usually been ashamed to be seated on, with her back to the wall opposite the door, her knees to her chest. Her head rested on the surface made by her legs, and her arms were lifted, her fingers clutching madly at her hair. Christop had never seen Kitty like this… she was normally, in his experience at least, a very optimistic, cheerful individual.

Biting back the feeling of ultimate dread, Christop raised his fist and knocked on the open door, feeling odd to be knocking at his own home.

Kitty looked up and, gazing across the short distance separating them, it was easy for Christop to see she had been crying. When she saw him, though, her legs straightened out in front of her and her entire face lit up.

"You're back! That was… that was so fast! Were you successful? Did you find the medicine? What were the towns like? Did you encounter any creatures? Christop?" She paused in her questioning, her brilliant smile dimming. "Christop, where's Ivy?"

Christop unhitched his breath as best as he could, and said slowly, "Ivy… Ivy is not with me." Despair washed over Kitty's face.

"Oh, no, oh God no!" She howled. "Ivy is… Ivy is…"

"She's not dead," Christop said quietly.

Kitty had begun to cry again, looking as sick as Christop felt. "Wha…what…"

"Kitty." Christop said. He shut the door gently and crossed the room to sit beside her. "Ivy is not dead." He had mimicked her original position almost perfectly, his legs drawn to his chest, his chin resting on them. He looked straight ahead, avoiding his wife's eyes. "Ivy is not dead. Ivy is not with me because… I was unable to enter the woods with her and Finton." He made it sound as though the issue had been a sort of physical hindrance, and not pure cowardice.

For a moment, Kitty said nothing. Then: "What?"

"I didn't go into the woods," Christop murmured, his voice a near whisper. "I… was afraid. Finton and Ivy told me not to fret. But I could not… I… I couldn't… go in there."

"You left Ivy and Finton alone?" Kitty repeated. Her voice was the proverbial calm before the storm.

"Yes," Christop admitted.

"You… left… my blind baby sister… in the woods… with only Finton Coin for protection?" Kitty gasped out. Every word seemed to be a monumentous effort for her.

Christop nodded miserably.

Kitty slapped him. It was a very simple, very clean, very deserved motion. She moved her arm back only slightly beforehand, and didn't seem to exert much effort and she brought it forward with the hand extended and made loud, painful contact with Christop's face. The movement seemed to have come purely from the grief and anger her soul, and very little of her physical body seemed to have been involved.

"I'm sorry," Christop gasped out weakly. His voice cracked; it sounded more like a sob than anything else.

"Sorry?" Kitty screeched. Sometime in the last second she had stood up from the floor and was towering in front of him, eyes ablaze and streaming tears. "_Sorry_?! Ivy is _blind_. Finton is… Finton means well, which is more than can be said about you! But Finton is weak, he could never fend off Those-We-Don't-Speak-Of. _Do you realize what you've done?_"

"Yes," Christop whimpered. He had buried his face in his knees at the sight of Kitty in such a rage.

"We have to go find her," Kitty moaned. The rage seemed to have drained from her, and now there was a frantic quality to her voice. She was beginning to panic. "We have to go to the woods _now_ and we have to find her..."

"Kitty…" Christop whispered.

"I won't just leave her to this fate, I'll─"

"_Kitty_!" Christop yelled, raising his head, aware that tears were burning at the back of his eyes. "It's _late_! We _cannot_ enter the woods now! It's as black as coal out there! The woods are perilous enough in the day!"

"Then you stay here!" Kitty roared, whirling to face him again. "Sit here, stay there on the floor! But be careful, don't lean too hard or you'll ruin your shirt!"

"Damnit!" Christop yelled. He was on his feet in an instant, facing Kitty. "I don't care about my shirt! I'll drench all my shirts in lantern oil and set them afire─ _I don't care_! Kitty, you _can't_ go out now. I _love_ you. I won't _let_ you."

Kitty looked drained again as she literally hung her head, her chin touching her chest, swaying slightly on her feet. "I love Ivy," she said simply.

"Ivy and Lucius," Christop muttered.

"What did you say?" Kitty murmured softly.

"Kitty… it is no secret that you love Lucius to this day," Christop whispered. "I am… sorry that I am not more like him."

"Don't say that," Kitty growled. "Don't you talk about him. You as good as killed him."

"I know that." There was a long pause. Then: "Kitty… I will not let you go into those woods."

"I have to save Ivy."

"You won't find her in the darkness."

"I must do _something_."

"Kitty," Christop said firmly. "In the morning I will go into the woods and search. I swear it. I will swallow my fear and I will find them."

"What if it's too late?" Kitty sobbed.

Christop shook his head, and murmured something with no real words to it: a soft, cooing sound which intended to offer comfort but failed. There was nothing he could say. Defeated and aware of it, he straightened his shirt and sunk back to the floor. Kitty joined him, still sobbing. Their bodies were touching; he felt her shaking and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, to do anything to help. He didn't move.

After a long while, Kitty fell quiet, and they sat together in the stunned silence listening to the wind howl outside─ it had begun to rain. "Can you ever love me again?" Christop said at last.

Kitty said nothing.

"Did you ever love me in the first place?" It hurt to ask knowing the probable answer, but not knowing for sure hurt worse.

Kitty said nothing for a long time, until Christop thought she wouldn't answer at all. Then, slowly, she replied, "I love you, in the same way I love everyone in the village. Like a member of my family."

"You love me like your brother?" Christop repeated dully.

"Yes."

He grimaced; it was what he had expected, and at least now he knew for sure. And at least she hadn't said she had _loved_ him. Maybe that meant she still did.

Maybe it meant nothing.

"What do we do now?" Christop murmured. "You do not love me, and yet we are bonded for life. What would you have me do? What… should I do?"

Kitty did not reply.

"Kitty." Christop whispered, staring straight ahead. "I'm sorry."

Kitty still said nothing, which broke his heart.

They fell asleep there, stiffly propped against the wall, and woke in the morning to Simon Jamison flinging open their door and shouting anxiously.

"Finton Coin has returned, unharmed and alone!" Simon slammed the door shut again and ran off, presumably to tell the elders.

Christop's mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. Kitty began to cry once more, and would not allow her husband to comfort her.

The End

Yeah, the language in this was probably too modern. Well, the language in Fearless was too old-fashioned, so what am I supposed to do? I'm not good at balance. Please, please review. I had no clue where to end it; I thought it would be good to end it after the line about poor Christop's heart breaking, but I really wanted to get in the bit about Finton's solo return. Again, I beg you to review. School has started and I'm on a new diet, and I reviews would make me really happy… ::puppy eyes::


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